Dead leaves litter the streets throughout Apollonia as children and adults march through town decked out in all manner of costume. Mock election season is upon us once again, as Apollonians from 7 to 70 cast pretend ballots at pretend voting booths in a pretend political process. The very young and very old are encouraged to remain at home for their own safety during mock elections.

Political Science professor Mark Philippoussis refills a barrel of water where children play “bobbing for apples,” a favorite pastime during the mock election. “Seeing the smiles on these kids faces after pretending to cast a vote is what really makes it all worth it,” says Philippoussis. Although Apollonia remains under the absolute rule of our so-called leader and cast ballots have no influence on our political course, many say that the sense of community the annual event fosters is its real value. “Just getting out in the sun, stretching your legs, catching up with the neighbors – that’s worth more than any real election in a real democracy could ever offer,” noted the professor.

On the other side of Apollonia, Harlan Beauchamp proudly watches twins Ethan and Colin swatting at a mock election piñata. The plucky youngster who cracks open the winning piñata is showered with empty ballots, which he may fill out himself or pass on to friends and family. The traditional game, though new to Apollonia, has roots dating all the way back to ancient Mexico.

This year’s closing ceremonies for the mock election season will include the ever-popular drawing, where one randomly chosen ballot will earn its lucky voter a tax refund equaling one-half of his or her taxes owed from the previous filing year but not more than seventy five percent of any refund that voter has received in any of the previous five consecutive tax years.