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Sacrificial lamb for sale. No, just kidding.
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Frolicking Furry Feline Photos Inside
Guinea pig for sale. This time I mean it. Really.
Who wouldn't want an endless winter?
 
i can run but i can’t hide

Opinion

Dear ATW,

Oh, I’m swift, there’s no doubt about that. The most you’ll see of me is a streak as I whiz by. It’s the hiding I have trouble with. I itch. I cough. I rumple papers. I can’t help it. Maybe it’s that I want to be caught? I guess that’s a question for the forensics investigators. What I’ve found, and this is the really interesting part, is that not be able to hide has improved my running. It’s like what they say when you are deprived of one sense, your others grow stronger. If you think about it, if you could hide very well, you really wouldn’t need to be able to run. At the end of the day, you really only need to be able to run or hide, but not both.

Sincerely,

Jack “Rabbit” Harrington


News Alert
Diary of a Mock Election
town clerk happy to be alive after fall from such great heights

Mark Knopfler stood proud atop the podium at this year’s Town Clerk awards, where he received top honors for the second consecutive year. In sweeping all categories, from notary public to above ground pool permits, Knopfler was weighed down with medals, causing a loss of balance that sent him plummeting into the crowd of bureaucrats below. According to medical experts, Knopfler should be back filing property tax adjustments as soon as he re-learns to walk and chew.

 
table of 
contents

atw issue 21 Previous issue Next issue

Apollonia Holds Mock Election World News

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Apollonians are a remarkably happy people according to a recent scientific survey released by Lipps, Inc. The firm, which polled...

Faulty Footwear Blamed For Missile Mishap Around Apollonia

Investigators are pinning the blame for last year’s errant missile launch, which triggered a brief but costly battle across Apollonia...

Opinion
I Can Run But I Can’t Hide
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