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‘endothrix fascioliasis’ awarded disease of the year
Victims applaud long, slow rise from obscurity

World News

For too long the rare and unlucky victims of endothrix fascioliasis have suffered in the background, their search for a cure left behind while trendier and more popular diseases occupied the public limelight. But this was endothrix’s year, as confirmed last week when it received the coveted “disease of the year” award by the World Health Organization.

“Endo,” as its sufferers like to call it, had been picking up steam since early in the year when popular and charismatic television personality James Lipton came forward about his own struggle with Endo. Speaking at the first Endo public awareness forum in New York City, Lipton described between furious bouts of itching how hard he had tried to keep the difficult news from others. Official at the WHO, who caught the broadcast on cable access television, introduced a resolution to upgrade the classification of Endo from a “nuisance” to a full-blown disease.

Its rise to fame quickly followed as a host of A-list names got behind Endo, some sharing their own private stories, others simply showing up at fundraisers to see the ravages of the disease firsthand, and to be seen. Regardless, regular victims who before could barely pronounce endothrix fascioliasis now had reason for hope.

With the coveted “disease of the year” recognition, Endo is sure to skyrocket to the top of the medical charts. Physicians will diagnose Endo more often, ensuring increased investment in medication and therapies which might reduce the burning sensations. Endo will become a normal topic of conversation between unrelated adults, eliminating the shame that previously enshrouded victims. But most importantly, those first sufferers of endothrix fascioliasis, those who knew the disease best before it entered the spotlight of fame and fortune, these unlucky pioneers know that without them, Endo would not be where it is today.


News Alert
Biggest Gazebos in Apollonia
town clerk bares boffo bod for carnal calendar

Arthur Stevenson is sizzling. First he was appointed to head the Town Clerk office under Government Hall’s new “are you hot or not?” hiring policy. Public officials cited his six-foot-three-inch frame and washboard abs as ideal for the demanding position. Now Arthur has been chosen for the cover of next year’s state-sponsored calendar, “The Men and Women of Public Service.” He insists that, although fully nude, his photo will be “tasteful” and “artistic”. Government Hall is hoping that the calendar will help reduce continuing budget deficits.

 
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‘Endothrix Fascioliasis’ Awarded Disease Of The Year

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